Moana Live Action Review – Good Movie… Pointless Remake? - You're Watching A Movie With Silas Lindenstein

When Disney announced they were making a live-action version of Moana, I figured there had to be a reason.

Maybe there was more story they wanted to tell. Maybe there were scenes they always wished had made it into the original. Maybe this version would flesh out the world a little more. After watching it, I honestly think they just wanted to make Moana again. That’s the strange thing about this movie. It’s not bad. I didn’t hate it. If you’ve never seen the animated version—and I don’t know how that’s possible—you’d probably have a good time. But if you’ve seen the original, you’ve basically already seen this one. Moana still leaves her island to save her people. She still tracks down Maui. They still set out to restore the heart of Te Fiti. The songs are there. The big moments are there. Most of the dialogue is there. I spent almost the entire movie waiting for it to take a different path. It never really did.

It Almost Feels Weird Calling It Live Action

This movie reminded me of something while I was watching it. For something that’s supposed to be “live action,” there’s an awful lot that isn’t. The ocean is CGI.
The creatures are CGI. The environments are CGI. Half the movie is visual effects. At some point I found myself wondering why they didn’t just leave it animated. The original already looked fantastic, and this still relies so heavily on computer-generated effects that calling it “live action” almost feels like a technicality. My daughter loved how everything looked, and I’ll give Disney that. The effects are impressive. I’m just not convinced they made the movie better.

I Missed the Animated Maui

One thing that surprised me was Dwayne Johnson. You’d think this would be the easiest role in the world for him. He already played Maui once. Nobody knows the character better. But somehow it worked better when he was only supplying the voice. Watching him in this version, he just doesn’t feel like the same Maui anymore. Maybe it’s because voice acting lets you perfect every line. Maybe it’s because Maui always felt younger in the animated movie. Whatever the reason, this version never clicked for me. And yes, I know Dwayne Johnson produced the movie. That probably explains why nobody looked at him and said, “You know…maybe we’re about fifteen years too late for this.”

Then There Was…The Nipple Situation

I have a question. It’s not an important question. But it is a question.

Why doesn’t Maui have nipples?

I’m serious. Every other guy in the movie has nipples. Maui doesn’t. Is this some kind of demigod rule? Did Disney have a meeting about this?

I know this is ridiculous, but once I noticed it, I couldn’t stop looking. Now you won’t either.

You’re welcome.

I Kept Waiting for One Thing

One new song.

One new storyline.

One scene that made me think, “Okay, this is why they remade it.”

Anything.

Instead, the movie is about ten minutes longer than the animated version, and I honestly couldn’t tell you what those ten minutes added.

That’s what makes the whole thing feel unnecessary.

Not bad.

Just unnecessary.

So…Should You See It?

If your kids want to go, sure. The story still works because it was always a good story. The visuals look great. You’ll probably have a perfectly enjoyable afternoon.

I just don’t think this version gives anyone a reason to stop watching the animated one. That’s the hurdle every remake has to clear. It has to justify its own existence. For me, this one never did.

Final Rating: Like It – 13/20

VIDEO REVIEW

AUDIO REVIEW

You're Watching A Movie With Silas Lindenstein